r e s m a r t e d

Teen Violence in Dating

“Everyone agrees that violence is learned,” Wolfe says. “Someone is teaching it.” He points the finger at the violent and abusive culture kids absorb in adolescence. “It is worse today because of all the different media they can be exposed to,” he says, such as cyberbullying and video games. “Violence is entertainment. It’s fun. They take out their cell phones whenever there is a fight. They put it on YouTube.”

Teens are being exposed to these things at a very crucial moment in their development, when they are becoming interested in the opposite sex and when they’re trying to establish a sexual identity. Up until adolescence, Wolfe points out, they’ve been relating to people of the same sex.

“They are now trying to relate to the opposite sex. And the simplest way I have to explain it is they are not very good at it,” he says. “If they try to relate to a girl the way they related to their male friends, she won’t like it. If she tries to relate to him the way she does with a girlfriend, or if she tries to act like a male friend, he won’t like it. There’s a lot of confusion.”

Girls may end up being physically aggressive when they interact with a boyfriend, punching and poking, says Wolfe, because they think that’s what guys like. “And the guys may be very controlling because they think that’s what works in relationships with other guys.”

full article - npr