r e s m a r t e d

Polls on women & happiness

These attempts to gauge a woman’s happiness would be amusing if they didn’t trigger so much angst in the women who have time to pay attention to them. Ask any woman if she’s happy, and once she recovers from the shock that someone cares, she’ll typically rattle off the reasons why she should be. There is, after all, no reward for a woman willing to admit she’s anything less than ecstatic about her life.

With a little coaxing, she may admit to flaws in the game plan, which she will typically identify as no one’s fault but her own. We are constantly reminded that we’ve got all kinds of rights and privileges that were denied our sisters less than 100 years ago. If you don’t think that matters, just set your dial to AM talk radio and listen to the wails over how no one wants to cook for the menfolk anymore.

Wouldn’t it be nice if, just once, we could read about how the overwhelming majority of women agree that life’s journey is tumultuous and roiling for all of us, and that the best way to navigate one’s ship is to welcome everyone on board?

Instead, we’re always asked how we feel about “the other side” of our own gender. Brings out the worst in so many of us, including a pretense to a superiority we don’t really feel.

The thing is, Super Moms make lousy girlfriends. All that perfection? Exhausting. How could I be myself with any mother who had a toddler and a clean car at the same time? For me, a few Cheerios crushed into the carpet or a sippy cup spackled with fingerprints went a long way toward connecting the dots to sisterhood, and I was willing to do my part.

The problem with these studies is they don’t encourage us to support one another in our missteps. Instead, we get yet another glimpse into just how unkind we can be to one another, and to ourselves.

full article - connie schultz